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Swimming in Sweetwater: A Deep Dive into Riverdale


Aug 23, 2019

Yellow Sweater sits the whole day on the bench by the bus waiting for her parents, apparently this camping trip was supposed to be 10 days long. We later see her sitting in the rain so #girlgetagrip

 

There's some light cult action by Mr Gaines Fruits and Marilyn Manson as they sit around a stack of rocks and ask for a sign, there is a solar eclipse which seems like a sign. 

Adventure Scout (Luke) is still upset about Tits death, his girlfriend Mary Magdalene(helen), in a real Veronica move cheers him up by doing some deep tongue kissing. Now its Football Goof Around Time with the gang. Alan Rickman has a top knot and that’s all I wrote about that scene

Madam President wants to check out the power plant and start a food inventory (has everyone eaten all the spinach yet? Because that shit goes fast) but needs to keep her own head down. 

Alien Face walks in and helps Will, she says she not on Money Bag’s side, there aren’t sides anymore. But like. There are. Big Eyes is piiiiisssssssssssed and when Money Bag asks her out she reveals that Alien Face is with Will at the store. Lady, Gents, and other distinguished persons, we have a love triangle yall. Might even be a rhombus because Big Eyes and Money Bags are making faces. 

Will goes to kiss Alien Face then they stay around the store and they compare lives while eating dinner

Sweet Sweet Dumb Dumb Gordie feels up Madam President while doing her medical prep and she reveals she had a boyfriend at Yale although clearly Yale doesn’t exist anymore

 

Turns out Camera is preggers, que a change in nicknames. Ginger thinks the removal of the smell and non payment is why they are here. He tells his brother Chicken Noodle Soup and CNS makes him destroy the evidence.

Fugitive starts, Rabbit comes and so does Big Eyes, I don’t get this game, it seems very dangerous as evidenced by Big Eyes getting hit by a car and also how can you tell Cops from not cops once you ditch the car? 

Rabbit gets caught by Chicken Noodle Soup (aka Dbag 2 and Daddy Chaos) and he takes her back to his house. They drink and do drugs then play a game of Simon says that turns sexual because #teens 

Big Eyes and Money bags go to the party at his house, they bond and then kiss and then end up in bed. Big Eyes is disappointed, she literally says “that was it” and Money Bags (Dbag1/Harry) is playing with her hair is all goo goo eyes. Sorry girl, sometimes its not mind blowing

 

Then the riot to end all riots